Tyler and I have been together four years and while I know that isn’t long compared to the lifelong relationships out there, it’s long enough that it is indicative of a certain level of effort and commitment. The “honeymoon” phase might be over and we’ve definitely had some ups and downs but I think we’re happier than ever. Let’s hope I haven’t jinxed it- crosses fingers…
We tend to have more spats and disagreements during periods where we’re less involved with each other so we try to avoid that. We get out together for a real date night twice a month. These date nights are a little pricier than our usual activities. They’re fun but we can’t do it all the time so where would we be if we only hung out twice a month?!
It’s finding friendship in the little things. Going for a walk and pointing out our favourite houses, laughing together at silly shows on Netflix, going for a cozy drive on rainy days, trudging through a snowstorm for coffee, chatting with vendors at the farmers market, wandering the trails at local parks, soaking up the sun at the beach, teasing the cats, sharing the crossword, finding the best two-player games, and planning the next trip.
I think it’s easy to get sidetracked by what we think relationships should look like instead of finding happiness in the little things. Love isn’t always big grand gestures. Sometimes love is small. Rather, in my experience, big love is often found in small gestures. Wake me up with a coffee and I know you love me.
I have a fear of skating so Tyler goes with a friend. His friend couldn’t make it last night so I wandered over to the rink with him to keep him company and watch the stuff. Not because I had to, but because I offered. I knew his friend couldn’t go so I volunteered because I love him. And he appreciated it because he knows that.
We keep things light and we like to laugh. Being content to find happiness in the little things keeps the pressure off, which makes it easier to have fun. Of course we still have to make consistent effort (and I still look forward to those fancy date nights, I am a girl after all!) but I think all the little things are more important.